Bleach My Brain Please, Part 487649743285732….

Found from the Deepest Corners of The Doomed and Hell-ish Pit (aka Fanfiction.net):

Author’s note read this before the story or you’ll get me in serious trouble! Hi guys I came up with a new story while trying to think of a way to update “Naruto’s a hostess”.

Recently I was reading a book by Sara Douglass and found out my favorite character in the book was going to die. I hate it when the characters I like are officially screwed over aka Naruto-chan by the authors.

I think fanfiction is a gift from Kami because now I can change things. Sure I can’t do anything about the Sara Douglass story but at least I can do something about Naruto.

In this story he’ll be going out with Itachi because like usual I’ll tell you I’m a yaoi freak and love the couple to death. I thank the man who made Naruto but also tell him to go screw himself with a chainsaw for destroying what Naruto could have been. I mean how can you have a thousand year old demon in your from birth and still be stupid. Or the fact that he doesn’t even elaborate on Naruto’s sad past making it look like he didn’t even have any sad memories at all. He made Naruto have a lot of chakra but not even know how to use it. Not to mention he made my Naruto-chan the weakest link in the damn story. He should just call the thing Sasuke since he makes Naruto the weakest main character to exist.

In the story there will be changes I assure you. The Naruto in my story will be strong because let’s face it who wants a weak main character that’s retarded. I make Naruto into what he should have been. But sadly I can’t lay claim to Naruto so I assure you nothing here is mine except the plot. That’s right you lawyers ain’t getting a penny from me now! Now back to the story sorry for the ranting I hope you like it.”

…What.

FAIL!

Killing a characer does not necessarily mean that the character has been screwed over – their death can have a meaning.

“I hate it when the characters I like are officially screwed over aka Naruto-chan by the authors.”

I don’t understand. What is known as Naruto-chan? Though, I think the author might have meant that she hates when the focus is shifted from the main character…? You’re not being very clear, hon.

“Sure I can’t do anything about the Sara Douglass story but at least I can do something about Naruto.”

Why can’t you? Kami didn’t give fanfiction to Sara Douglass’ fandom? I really hope you’re mistaken, because I’d rather you go over to that fandom, and leave this one alone. To avoid seeing your stories, that is.

“In this story he’ll be going out with Itachi because like usual I’ll tell you I’m a yaoi freak and love the couple to death.”

You have made me ashamed of being a fan of the pairing.

” I mean how can you have a thousand year old demon in your from birth and still be stupid.”

Brawn ≠ Brains.

“Not to mention he made my Naruto-chan the weakest link in the damn story. He should just call the thing Sasuke since he makes Naruto the weakest main character to exist”

Ahhh yes. Your Naruto-chan. But ofcourse. Calling him ‘chan’ doesn’t make him any “stronger and manlier and cooler”, if that’s what you’re after, quite the opposite. It suggests that he’s GIRLY, FEMININE, and so on. A Japanese guy would most probably be very offended if you called him that.

I agree with that perhaps Kishimoto-sensei should just name his manga ‘Sasuke’ after all, what with his apparent fascination with the bastard, and I am a little upset about that – but not because Naruto is weak?! Where’d you pull that from? Sheesh.

“The Naruto in my story will be strong because let’s face it who wants a weak main character that’s retarded.”

Well let’s face it that you most surely are.

“But sadly I can’t lay claim to Naruto so I assure you nothing here is mine except the plot. That’s right you lawyers ain’t getting a penny from me now! Now back to the story sorry for the ranting I hope you like it.”

I’m not sure if I believe you. Back to the story? We didn’t even get there yet. Which I’m thankful for. I won’t like your story.

(The thing that makes me angrier in this case, is the fact that this author’s summaries for her stories are good. And then when I click the link, it’s full of shit like THAT. It just makes me cry pissed off! And two of her stories have over 300 reviews, I searched through them and I didn’t spot any negative ones! Her chapters were too short, she seriously, seriously needs a beta, there’s OOC everywhere, there’s this shitty thing of a “plot”, the characters’ personalities change from chapter to chapter, after yelling out that she is making Naruto strong, she instead makes him this pitiful weakling emotional-wise… And oh, don’t let me get started on the author’s profile. Can you say… wannabe-emo? … I now consider hating all my previous fav. bands, just because she likes them. She also tells us that she hates those who follow others, and that she likes honesty. I wonder if she’d like it so much if I told her what I think of her and her ’stories.’)