If I had your strength, I would be – fearless.

After all the shit today, here’s some quite-recent memorizing. Parts of posts that I never published, at least not that I remember :P

 

I saw a Banana Mermaid

Ensi viikolla on oikein kahvittelukestit tiedossa, menen Minnan, Maaritin ja Joonaksen kanssa kahville, kaikkien kanssa erikseen siis. Mua ihan kummastuttaa että miksi pitää aina tavata kahvin äärellä, mun kalenteri näyttää joltain kofeiiniriippuvaisen muistiolta  :D Tai no enhän siis tiedä onko muilla näin, mutta itsellä ainakin on huomattavan paljon tapaamiset kahvitteluja. Mitä en toisaalta kyllä ihmettele kun Suomessa ollaan.

“Kahvijuonnissa suomalaiset pitävät yhä kärkisijaa hallussaan. Paahdetun kahvin kulutus henkeä kohden oli 9,9 kg vuonna 2008. Keski-Euroopassa kulutus on noin 5 kg henkeä kohti vuodessa.” http://www.kahvi.net/kahvinet.php?k=10923

Se on kyllä hassua kun Irlannissa olin ja piti juoda sitä instant-litkua. Täällä sellaista kauhistellaan että hyi kuinka sellaista voi juoda, ja Irlannissa ja Briteissä purukahvin keittäminen taas on sellasta pikkurilli-pystyssä-hommaa, oikein Hyacint Bucket. Oli miten oli, onhan se kivan nopeaa se kahvinsaanti kun tarvitsee vain vesi kaataa päälle, mutta maku ei kyllä ole kaksinen oikeaan kahviin verrattuna. ♡v♡

Tässä on muuten yksi animedubbauksen helmiä ameriikoista, katsokaa loppuun asti *reps* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TlLFNM_1o-8&feature=related

Alla lopun dialogi (maalaa hiirellä että näkyy):

["But why are you being so kind?"

"GO before I throw you down on the ground and rape ya!!!"

"*gasp* ...Ah, bless you, thanks."

"I sure get sick of playing the good guy all the time." ]

Joo, on se rankkaa. :D

 

Nonlinear Endings

I’m so deep in the pit, I need to bite my hand to keep from squealing aloud. <3

- It will never stop being funny to me, how I always misspelled Sonata Arctica as “Sonta Arctica”. Not that I think the band is bad, but rather because then I think of a huge mountain made of frozen shit.

 

I’m glad dreams aren’t stars; we’d never reach them.

Uhun, I’m going to see 30 seconds to Mars on 2nd June in Helsinki! I got Saara to come with me. ^^ After that, I’ll no longer be a concert-virgin! Yohoo! Ah, and there’s NRJ’s event in Särkänniemi on this Friday, guess who’s goiiiiing. That’s right, me, me! (Or maybe, not sure yet since I got some calls from work. More hours… -_-)

I am baffled at some people. I was reading fanfiction about one of my favorite tv-shows, and clicked on this title that looked promising. What I found inside? Well, everybody was acting very OOC, and two of the main characters, had just suddenly decided to get together, and they were about to adopt a daughter from the RAINBOW ORPHANAGE. After snorting chocolate paste out my nose, I made my escape.

 

On a field of Forget-Me-Nots

Töistä vapaalla, ihanat säät! Vaikka liian kuumaa on, tuskaa herätä aamulla kun paistuu auringon alla. Saara karkasi tänään taas Hämptoniin, mutta eilen ehdittiin kolmisteen Karmenin kanssa katsoa 3:10 to Yuma, josta kaikki tykättiin. Sitten seuraavana aamuna toteutettiin meidän upea aamiainen, tosin ei parvekkeella kun siellä oli niin kuuma! Aurinko porotti suoraan siihen. :p

Meidän ihana aamiainen <3

Lukuunottamatta Saaran aamuista blokkauskeikkaa, päästiin aika myöhään liikkeelle kaikki; Karmen lähti coniin kahentoista jälkeen, Saara ja Karo rupesivat sitten nokosille kun väskäs niin. :j Nousin joskus varttia vaille kolme, ja rupesin tunkemaan väriä päähäni – tästä väristä tuli mielestäni oikein nätti, syvän punainen. Saara lähti jossain vaiheessa kaverinsa kanssa kaupungille, ja Karmen ehti jo palata conista kun mä vielä laittauduin iltaa varten – joka tosin onkin vasta ensi viikon lauantaina, kuten selvisi kun tekstasin Jennalle. :P OOPS. Me lähdettiin Karmenin kanssa sitten palauttamaan leffaa, ja lainattiin Tideland. Käveltiin pieni lenkki ja ostettiin pehmikset kastikkeilla, ja törmättiin Nabuun ja sen 30v. valokuvaajaan… Sit palattiin takasin kämpille ja kenkien vaihdon jälkeen mentiin uudelleen ulos.

Rantaa kohti suunnattiin, mutta eksyttiin matkalla Vohveliin, juuri sopivasti niin että vohveleita vielä tarjoiltiin. On ne vaan aina yhtä hyviä! Kun rannalle päästiin niin siellä oli tosi nättiä. Istuttiin jotain tunti rantakivellä ja uitettiin jalkoja vedessä, höpistiin vähän kaikenlaista. Siinä tuli mökkeilyä ikävä, samoin uimista, kun niitä ei ole tehnyt nyt pidempään aikaan. :<

I think we killed the sky last night

I dyed my hair dark brown. In my opinion, it’s quite ugly. Doesn’t fit me and I don’t like the color. I could have chosen a better one… but this is just a means to an end. I want to go lighter again, but I didn’t want to have color removal, growing out red dye looks plain stupid, and you can’t bleach red (at least in a way that’d look okay). So I need to go through brown. I thought maybe I could get some small light streaks in it to make it look a little more… ahh, better? Eh.

I wish I was already over with this flu. And yes I wish I’d already done all my school work, but no fat chance. Oh somehow this brings me to the subject of what a beautiful weather it is! I can only hope for the same kind of weather while I’m in Ireland. I hope to everyone and anything and all things this and that, for my summer in Ireland to be at least partially sunny. I’ll be forever bitter if this year Finland gets some kind of super heat streak with great weather, and I’m stuck in a rainy little town somewhere.

I have so much stress it’s not even funny. I stress so much that I’ve taken a mini-vacation from reality. Sure it’s nice now, but procrastination will only get you fucked in the ass when it’s over. Fucked raw. Ohho, so eagerly waiting. At the moment I should really actually be doing something quite extremely different than now if I want to get through this alive and limbs intact. Something productive maybe.

Ah, another distraction. Spotify! It’s so nice to find new great songs with it, I’m actually listening to some right now. Anything but what I should be doing. At least I can still feed myself, just waiting for my rice to be ready so I can mash it up with the leftover veggies and chicken from yesterday. By the way, I came to the conclusion that steamed vegetables are definitely better than boiled, especially as I’m not in the habit of preserving the broth.  The taste was much more vibrant! Tomorrow it’s gonna be potato-carrot-onion-spinach mash, maybe sweet potato too if I feel like buying it. And I think it’s turn for fish this time, I don’t even remember when I last ate fish at home. I don’t really like fish, but I guess I’ll do a cheese-layered white fish so I can get it down. It’s so unfair that I don’t have money to buy all kinds of ingredients, I like cooking and I’d like to try out different recepies.

It was fun when I was visiting in Hml. We got kind of carried away with mom, and made a whole menu of food! It all started from mom asking what we should do for supper, and I told her to look up something from a cook book. Goddamn that woman is like a pregnant woman with her fancies. We ended up making peppermix-cheese filled mushrooms wrapped in bacon, baked potatoes, carrots, and yam with lemon for taste, a simple spicy meatloaf, rice-based feta-grape-salmon-shrimp salad and for dessert creamy coffee-chocolate mousse with a tad of cognac. And if that wasn’t enough, we had a can of tap water with lemon and strawberries. Yep. And the best part is that we were making it all just for the two of us. We did try to invite Nina and Joona over, but they wouldn’t answer. Luckily at least dad came home some time in the evening to save us from all the food.

By the way, have you guys lost your respect for this country, or more precisely for the government and those idiots who make the decisions? I didn’t use to be very interested in politics, in fact I still have no idea what the different parties represent or their history and I can’t even name that many parties, just the biggest ones. Still I’ve become more active in reading newspapers and having an opinion on something, after I opened my eyes to what we are going towards with these decisions that have been made recently and not so recently. Madness I say! Then again I can’t help but doubt my own knowledge on these things since as said, I don’t have a long history of observing politics, that’s why I’ve tried to really read many different opinions on things and what are the actual facts. I don’t know much, but I do know that the government is so apart from us everyday citizens, and with how we Finns are sweet little lambs following their leader even if we don’t want to, they probably do see us as mindless herds that will take anything they tell us. It annoys me! Why are we so passive? Let’s be like the French for a while and go riot on the streets! Problem is, I can admit that even I wouldn’t do that unless there is a relatively large group in it.

—

Casablanca

Mää tässä hengailen kotosalla vähän vittuspäissäni. Onko mitään, mitään ärsyttävämpää, kuin että on kipeä juuri sen verran ettei mitään jaksa tehdä, mutta sängynpohjalla makaaminen ei vaan onnistu! Aattelin et jos kidutan itseeni sit oikein kunnolla tänään ja teen kouluhommia koko päivän. Ens viikolla on jo kahet kokeet, ja haistan pahasti ilmassa sellasta käryä että kohta alkaa lopun ajat. En oo onnistunu siinä että ottaisin niskoista kiinni. Jotenkin se ei onnistu kunnolla täällä yksin kämpässä istuen. Pitäisi varmaan suunnistaa kirjastoon, mutta ei siellä ole kiva istua yksin… kävin yksi päivä Suvilla, siellä sain sentään jonkin verran koulujuttuja tehtyä, mutta kun netti ei toiminut siellä niin vähän liiaksi innostuttiin jutteleen keskenämme. :D

Oli viime perjantaina ne meiän luokan bileet, oli hauskaa! Pysyttiin jopa porukka kasassa ravintolan jälkeen, mentiin sit Semaan taas kun sai siideriä ja olutta eurolla. Mä olin unohtanu kotiavaimet niin menin Suville sit yöks loppujen lopuks. Oli tosi ihanaa nähdä taas Jenna, kun se ja Fabi tuli just Meksikosta takasin pikku-Diegon kanssa. Mä ja Suvi juteltiin Fabin kanssa kaikkea sekavaa, päädyttiin jotenkin keskusteluissa siihen, että Fabin on ostettava vaalean vihreet nahkaiset Peter Pan- pökät, ja pidettävä niitä seuraavan kerran kun nähään se Suvin kanssa. :DDD Kuulemma saa kokeilla puristaa poskiakin, toivottavasti Jennaa ei haittaa ;D Mut niin, nautin olostani kyllä ihan täysin :) Nyt täytyy alkaa suunnitella sitä leffailtaa, että päästään taas kaikki kokoontumaan <3

Taisin laittaa edelliseen entryyn taas kauheeta ihkutusta tatskasta – ja nyt vasta tahonkiiiiiin. Jatta tuli toissapäivänä myöhässä kouluun, koska se oli näin extemporee, ollut ottamassa tatuointia sen jalkaan kun se olikin yllättäen saanut jonosta vapaan paikan. Se oli tosi nätti, kukkia ja köynnöstä, sopii hyvin Jatan aiempaan perhostatuointiin. Nättejä ovat molemmat tatskat, ja minä olen kade! Mut kuulemma maksoi 200€ :x Mut jos Sami tekis mulle tatskan vähän halvemmalla… siis tietenkin oottasin et kerään vähän rahaa kasaan ja että Sami saa vielä harjotella lisää sen kavereihin ennen kun se sitä piikkiä mun lihaan iskee ;D

Sovin Niiskun kanssa nyt työajoista uuteen vuoteen asti – mä oon töissä 26. joulukuuta ja 31.-1. uutena vuotena…. eli se niistä juhlinnoista mun osalta! Mut rahaa tulee, uh huh. Oikeastaan en edes sillain välitä enää noista juhlista, ihan se ja sama… en tiedä miksi, mutta ei oikein iske. Enemmän odotan innolla meiän tulevaa pelailuiltaa ens kuussa, Anna, Niina, Joona ja Jose tulee Hämpästä ja mennään Pabulle ja Mebulle pelaileen. Aattelin pyytää paria kaveria mukaan, mitä enemmän pelaajia nii sen kivempaa! Ja viiniä täytyy tietty olla ^^

Jake ja Adam olis tulossa Suomeen kohtsillään, niitä pitäs mennä opastaan Helsinkiin Karmenin avustuksella. :) Nii ja kattelin vähän lentoja Wieniin, kun Ronja yrittää sinne houkutella sitä moikkaan ja joulutoreja katsomaan… lentoihin menis n. 250€. Eihän tossa olis kun mun kuukauden palkka… ja saisin ilmaisen majotuksen tietty. Hmm hmmm. Tahtoooo :D

May I Say Nay

Hit me on the head with an iron lamp, because fuck it if I didn’t skip school again today! I don’t know what I could do to get motivation for that school, I honestly don’t. I think overall one of my biggest problems in life is that I get bored so easily. I think that is the reason for losing my motivation for lukio in the middle of the second year (and surprise, I’m in the middle of my second year now as well!), and I get sick of the places I work in, I’m sick of this apartment I live in, I’m starting to get sick of this town, and of this country, and also why I get so easily annoyed by almost every boyfriend I’ve ever had. Shite, do I need to go to a therapist now and cry out why I’m so restless and need near constant change in my life, otherwise I just go haywire.

And I know full well who I got this from, thanks a lot, dad. Mom doesn’t care about going abroad, and she’s content with small projects, like potting plants and decorating the house. Whereas dad always has these… massive things, and never get anything relly ready since he loses his interest. It was his idea to buy Juttila. He bought cars to fix them and sell them. He wants to build another sauna in Juttila. He goes to Germany how many times a year. He stays home maybe one or two evenings per week, other times he’s going around the town or he can’t stay still. I guess I’m the shittiest mix between my parents’ personalities… everything’s so controversed, I love being home and just being, but I love being out and doing a lot. We’ve talked about it with Nina, how it feels weird that our parents are such complete opposites – and oh great now those two personalities are mixed in me. I think in Nina, too. She used to be very restless, and she still is, even if I think she can handle it better now (though uh, she has three careers now; waitress, sport massager, and gym teacher. And what does she do? She works in Anttila’s cafe. For now.)

I think maybe if we had been made to get a hobby when we were smaller, that we’d probably be a little bit happier now, maybe we’d know how to keep our concentration on something and just stick with it until we accomplish something. I feel like I have so much energy and interest to do all kind of things, and on the other hand I feel tired, unmotivated, and like I just want to sit on my molding ass and not move anywhere. I just… want to feel really passionate about something, and be good in it. I think my best shot is concentrating on my fascination on Japan, because that’s about one of the only things that has stuck with me. On top of planning to go there for an exchange period, I’ve been thinking that I want to concentrate on the East Asia in my work. I’d really like to have work concerning Japan, and preferably something that has to do with tourism and culture. I know though that the most realistic would be some kind of business… I just don’t feel like being a business woman is something for me. That said, why the hell am I in a business school? You guys don’t want to see my accounting grade, believe me you don’t. Though my math grade I’m proud of! And as bat-shit as it sounds, I miss math lessons. I wish I had one now!

I’ve been fantasizingplanning all kinds of things on how to change my life or how to get something new. Like mm, I shall start that martial arts kinda thing in the spring. I got that new job now (which I’m not that exicted about, I just want the money), and, and… I’ve been looking at sites that offer free charity work abroad. I’d like that, working abroad for half a year or so. Problem is the apartment here in Finland, I’d have no money for the rent… But I can always just inform the school that I will be absent for the semester, and do that semester later in 2012 Spring. And I’ve also considered going around Europe, working in hotels for a small pay, you know, there’s some programs like that. And well, if I hadn’t gotten this job I now have, I would have tried for the winter season job in Lapland, where you work as a guide to the tourists. Nice outdoor work, even if it’s cold.

Ah, aren’t I proud of my great Swedish skillz by the way. I just started the third Swedish course with the third year students (to get the stupid course out of my way), and I noticed during the class that someone was behind the class door. Ofcourse I reflexsively used English and said “There’s someone behind the door”, then I realized that waait, this is a Swedish class, so while the teacher was looking at me expectantly, I barely got out “Där är… en person,” while pointing at the door. I half fell on the table in front of me from all the energy spent on producing that one sentence, while others sniggered at my great articulation skills. Ah, the shame, the shame! But the teacher praised me for using Swedish. :D

I’ve been studying kanji at the moment, because I have this idea for a tattoo. I know what I want to write, and I know that I want it to look like it’s done with a brush… But I’m not sure where I’d want it. My other idea for a tattoo is a small and sleek black cat. I thought maybe I could model it after the cat from Majo no Takkyûbin, Jiji. Or maybe not, I don’t know if I’d want it to be more… styled or something. And again, I don’t know where I’d want it. But I definitely know that I want a cat tattoo, because to me, a cat has so many definitions. I love cats, that’s no secret. They are beautiful, intelligent (some of them…), affectionate but at the very end, independent. They’re sophisticated, wild hunters with strong instincts, they’re graceful. When I think of a cat, I get a feeling of something authentic, pure and sensual, blue and cool – and from a darker side, they can be something dangerous, wayward and unpredictable, oppressive and daunting (even though I love cats… the black-white ones, I’m afraid of them so much and have healthy respect for them…). Sitting here, I can’t think of any other thing that’d give me so many varied and strong feelings.